I Knew It Would Happen Sometime...

"Dude, you're not seriously watching TENNIS, are you?"

The voice came from some late 20 something former musclehead who was pedaling on the bike in front of me. As I've mentioned before, I don't have cable and I often times go to the gym to watch the game/match and get some biking or stair stepping in while watching. When I arrived at the gym, there was no one on the bikes and the TV in front of them wasn't even on. I decided to forgo any weight lifting to secure a prime spot on the bikes and be the individual in control of the clicker. About a half hour into Sharapova's on the court meltdown (It's OK honey, we've all been there), Musclehead McKnuckledragger decided he needed a break from working the 150 pound dumbbells and hit the bikes too. After looking at the screen several times and then looking at the one a little further away carrying ESPN's Game Day, I knew this mouth breather was getting antsy to see something less gay. Finally, the gerbil in his skull had generated enough mental energy for him to have a thought and vocalize it.

"Dude, you're not seriously watching TENNIS, are you," he said. In actuality I'm sure he meant, "Dude, what are you a fag or something?"

"Actually, yea, I am watching this tennis match."

He was so shocked, his head moved as a result of my answer and the gerbil was dislodged from its wheel. I assume said gerbil was uninjured because after five minutes, he spoke again.

"Ah sorry man. Its cool. I mean I like tennis too, but its not something you think of being on at a gym."

Translation: You're a big old fag, but I'll act like its OK.

Attempting to justify something that didn't need justifying, I said, "I don't have TV at home so I come here and watch it."

"Well, I guess you gotta do, what you gotta do." He stopped pedaling, went to the other TV that had GameDay on and turned it so he could watch it. I guess he enjoys watching blow-hard, closet case and Ohio State douche bag Kirk Herbstreit more than Maria Sharapova. Who's gay now big guy? Oh wait, its still me. Sigh...

Hotness still alive and playing (as of 8:30 am Monday, 3 September):

note: order does not denote degree of hotness...

Roger Federer
Tomas Berdych
Andy Roddick
Tommy Haas
Carlos Moya

Those who have fallen:
Robert Kendrick
Justin Gimelstob
Dmitry Tursunov
Mikhail Youzhny

Lleyton Hewitt

Robby Ginepri

Marat Safin

Janko Tipsarevic