Still Teaching (and Crazy) after All These Years

I taught in the public school system for 9 years total. Over the course of that time, I established myself as that whack-job of a mad scientist who was exceedingly loud, drank urine for money (it was fake, honestly!!!) and used slightly different teaching methods (sending potato chips through the mail as a lesson on structural design, for example). I took a great deal of pride in being a teacher who was strict yet allowed the students to express themselves and get to know my personality in the process. When I was told by a disinterested 8th grader that my class was the high point of her day, I knew I had to be doing something right.

My one biggest regrets will always be that my students didn't know that I was gay. Not that I'm into completely advertising my sexuality, but if some students could see a reasonably popular teacher that was gay, maybe that would begin to shift their perceptions of what a gay person was. The area I taught in was extremely conservative. The one accepted gay person in town was the hairdresser that everyone wanted to book for their wedding. He was acceptable because he fit the stereotype and provided a service (damn them queers know their hair!). Other would-be gays are supposed to live an existence of relative solitude while the community gossips about their orientation. It's good stuff down at the local news stand.

So my students never knew and I feel as if I lost an opportunity to make a difference. Maybe my openness would have lead to some changes in how homosexuality was perceived. Maybe I could have served as a role model for some of the gay students who were struggling with their sexuality.

Friday night, I took advantage of a situation and tried to right this wrong in at least one small way. I've kept in touch with some former students who are off at college. One in particular always ropes me into philosophical conversations. She's progressively become more conservative at college and her faith has become the defining aspect of her life.

She told me that she had recently gotten drunk for the first time and that it was also the last time. EVER. I congratulated her on her "wildness" and told her to never say never as your values change as you get older whenever ideology and reality clash. The conversation got more and more abstract until she finally asked for a concrete example of how her opinions of absolute good and truth could change. So I gave her the most concrete example I could think of. I typed in "I'm gay." There was a pause and then "Whoa."

We talked for about 20 more minutes, touching on some basics. She asked if I was seeing someone and I said I was and he was one of the best things to ever happen to me. Her response, I think, sums up the conflict raging between religious conservatives and the gay community. "I wish I could say I was happy for you but my faith tells me I can't be."

I hope our dialog continues. Its hard to say what will happen, but at least I got her thinking. I think that if any shift in attitudes towards the homosexual community is going to happen it has to jointly occur at the individual level as well as the institutional level. So even as strides are being made in legislating marriage and civil rights (I could have been FIRED from my job just because I was gay), it is imperative that we create understanding within our own circles of friends, family and acquaintances. How can our community find acceptance of who we are if we can't even be honest with those in our lives?

photo credits:
Girl Talk by RS2802
14-StepsandShadowCastro by nicholsphotos'